I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
