Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
