I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
