I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Randomize
