Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
