I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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