i was born a porn star she said
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
