I CAN MOONWALK!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
