Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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