roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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