I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
