I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
