i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
