Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
