this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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