Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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