The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
you had me at cake vodka
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
