So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
