Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
