We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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