we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My ATM looks so different sober.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
