She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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