Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
even my farts smell like vagina
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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