Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You may now shotgun with the bride
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
