just survived the first fart of the relationship.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
