I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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