I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He passed out mid-signature
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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