I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need a beard to bite.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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