What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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