He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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