remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
