i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
