Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
