I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
