He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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