Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
