he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
