Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
