There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
