dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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