im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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