Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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