I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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