Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I wear drunk well.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
