Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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