Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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