How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
