I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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