You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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