i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
