Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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