I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
